A General Sense of Impending Groom

As most of you know, Drake and I have a pair of miniature schnauzers, Gus and Dash. We specifically chose this breed of dog because Drake is allergic to basically everything and schnauzers are considered "hypoallergenic" (as much as an animal is able to be, anyways).

Miniature Schnauzer Cut

The upside of owning miniature schnauzers, aside from their need to impersonate velcro and be stuck to you at all times, is that they do not shed. The downside of non-shedding dogs is that schnauzers need regular groomings every 8 weeks or so.

Not just any grooming, but a very particular type of haircut, aptly named a Schnauzer cut. For this type of cut, the hair on their ears, head, neck and body is cut short, while the fur on their legs and tummy is left longer. Their beards are left long and bushy and their eyebrows dramatic. Here's an example from the American Kennel Club Miniature Schnauzer page.

Dash & Gus freshly groomed

We've tried our hand at grooming our doggies ourselves a couple of times with less than desirable results. So, we leave this task to professionals. Fortunately, our doggie daycare has an in-house Dog Groomer, which is just the best. We can take the doggies to play for the day and they come home looking like dapper gentlemen. Seriously, each time they are groomed, the groomer gives them little ties or bow ties and it absolutely kills me (see photo to the left)

However, this time around when we went to schedule a grooming appointment, our regular dog groomer was unavailable due to a wrist injury. Our doggie daycare recommended another facility instead. They had good reviews, so we scheduled an appointment.

Although the Schnauzer cut is specific, we often ask our groomer for a less severe version: a slightly shorter skirt around the tummy and less dramatic eye brows. This makes it easier to brush the doggies and likely makes it easier for them to see. We also specify that Dash's tail be left long. Note: there was a movement in 2019 by the Alberta Veterinary Medical Association (ABVMA) to ban surgical procedures for dogs that are medically unnecessary. This included tail docking and ear cropping. We acquired Gus before this legislation change and Dash after. So, Gus has a docked tail and Dash a long, natural tail. Anyways, I digress, we ask our groomer to leave Dash's tail long and flowy because if it's shaved, he looks like a rat.

Upon arrival at our grooming appointment at the new facility, Drake chatted with the groomer about what we were looking for. The facility is clean and professional looking and the staff seem kind and competent. About 20 minutes later, Drake gets a phone call from the groomer asking his opinion on the length of clipper she should use along with a photo of Dash with an awkward stripe shaved down his back. Perhaps not off to a great start. We think, "oh well, he might be a little shorter on the top than we're used to" and continue on with our day. They estimated that the doggies would be ready around 3pm, but they'll call us to confirm.

A few minutes after 3pm, we get a phone call from the owner of the establishment. What service! It turns out the owner called us herself because things did not go as planned. Apparently, our dogs were originally scheduled with her senior dog groomer. However, due to a change in staffing, our doggies were groomed by their junior groomer who is still working on developing her skills, particularly when it comes to trimming their legs. The owner graciously offers us a discount for their services. $50 per grooming instead of the $70 we were originally quoted. Those of you who have never had a dog groomed may be a little shocked at the price. Don't be. Our regular groomer charges around $65 per dog. Considering that for $65 our doggies get bathed, blow dried, hair trimmed, nails clipped, and their private areas shaved, this is money well spent. Especially since doggies are not always inclined to sit still.

As the owner delivers the news, Drake and I make eye contact over the phone. I mouth "legs totally shaved" at him. He shrugs back. It's only hair. It'll grow back. As long as the doggies haven't been seriously injured, it's not a big deal. We agree to $50 per dog and head to pick them up.

We were correct in thinking the doggies' coat may be a little shorter than normal. The poor boys basically received a full shave, which at this time of year, is not ideal. We smiled and joked with the owner as we paid and then laughed pretty hard when we got back in to the car. I am certain that this poor groomer did her best; however, our doggies in no way received a Schnauzer cut. Their legs and chest are completed shaved and I think she forgot to trim their ears? She did follow our requests though. She left Dash's tail long and flowing, and Gus' too! Note his pom pom tail below.

Gus' pom pom tail

If you've ever had a bad haircut, you know how cringy it feels. It's a similar feeling knowing that you subjected your beloved pet to one. If you don't see any Gus and Dash posts on social media for the next little while, it's because we are trying to preserve whatever dignity these little turds have left while their hair grows back.

Please note that I will not be naming this facility out of respect for their business and the work they do. Although our experience was not ideal, the staff were kind and we have no doubt that this groomer can and will do better with training and experience. This post was merely an attempt to add some levity to your Sunday during these tricky times.

Wishing you happiness and good haircuts!

Best,

Laura